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INTRODUCTION
The other night, I talked to a friend who works just a couple of days a week from home and has multiple young children with three in school and one toddler at home. Even with some help throughout the week, she says she can never catch up on anything. Have you ever felt that way? I know I have and still sometimes do.
We can all empathize with the struggle of wanting to be able to maintain an organized home, be present with our children and spouses, and then on top of that – make time for our interests and passions! Homemaking is not easy, so how can we move away from always being overwhelmed to masterly managing AND enjoying our home?
Confronting Our Roadblocks
Motherhood and homemaking require every part of a mom’s entire being. There are so many moving parts that it feels like our efforts go nowhere. Motherhood wasn’t meant to be a hopeless, stagnant, no-growth part of life. Challenges are inevitable, and there will be seasons of being overwhelmed but not so much that there is no season of rest, peace, or growth. I think many women feel hopeless because:
- We are striving for the wrong things.
- We are trying to uphold the wrong standard.
- We may have the wrong perspective about homemaking.
- We are putting no effort at all into making the right changes in ourselves and in our home (hardest truth for me to accept).
Take a moment to reflect on why you may have struggled to manage your home. It may not be for any of these reasons. It could be because of unforeseen things like health issues, financial problems, or even relationship challenges in the home. Pray and seek guidance from trusted friends to help with whatever roadblocks keep you from moving forward. It’s essential to address those roadblocks before doing anything else. Even if you follow the tips I suggest below, it may only be short-term fixes because other pressing issues need to be confronted.
A Kingdom Perspective on Homemaking
- First and foremost, let’s focus on honoring God with every aspect of our lives. We can move forward knowing he extends grace and the strength to do this, and we have no one else to please but him.
- Begin viewing motherhood and homemaking as a calling from God rather than a burden (even if it will feel that way sometimes). If we can get that perspective set, we will stop thinking our position in the homes is any lesser than the God-ordained vocation it is.
- Let’s stop comparing ourselves to the standard of this world and to other women we assume to have it all together. Let’s be happy for them if they do, and be hopeful that we will get closer to enjoying our homes more and be overwhelmed less. (Maybe even ask those women what tips they may have to help a sister out!).
- Use homemaking as an opportunity for personal growth and building meaningful connections with our family.
- View our children as gifts and not burdens from God. This perspective heavily impacts how we respond when challenges concern our children (like behavior, attitudes, etc.). Instead of blaming the child, we will focus on fixing and overcoming the root of the problem. We must trust that God placed children in our lives for a divine reason. I’ve learned that parenting has a lot to do about our personal growth, too!Use home chores and responsibilities to train our children (Proverbs 22:6) in real-life skills they will need to run their own homes one day smoothly.
- Model and teach good habits, how to overcome challenges, and build resiliency.
- Cultivate a peaceful and loving home environment for our family, and those around us.
If you want some encouraging words from some wonderful moms who showcase how motherhood is a daily act of worship to honor God and model after Christ, check out the following books:
My Own Motherhood Journey
The following tips have made a difference in my personal life. In the past, with just a couple of kids, I was always already overwhelmed. I wasn’t even fully homeschooling at the time! Still, I was trying to volunteer in multiple positions, continue to stay fit, participate in playdates, church events, and other activities. However, I didn’t prioritize house chores or responsibilities in this process, so my home would be an exploded mess.
Unless we had an event to host, I’d work tirelessly to get everything in order, even areas that guests would never have seen. Still, I wanted to have the perception I had everything together. Unfortunately, I would get burnt out every 3-6 months, which would lead to being sick for a week, and constantly trying to reevaluate what I was doing wrong.
Thankfully, I have a very encouraging and supportive husband who’s always tried to help me be better at home. He is naturally organized and creates systems to make processes more efficient (like having a bin just for his wallet and keys). Unfortunately, pride at the beginning of our marriage kept me from accepting his advice, and I’d get offended if he offered suggestions on managing my things and time. Over time, I’ve learned to accept his guidance and not view them as criticism towards me, which never was.
I’ve also gathered so much great advice and learned a lot from other moms I’ve met throughout our moves. Some had full-time jobs outside the home, and others were full-time homemakers or homeschoolers. I gleaned so much from their systems and habits on running their homes. I have finally seen the fruit of committing and learning to be efficient. But more importantly, changing how I view my position as a homemaker is an essential part of my calling from God. I want to be a good steward of what he’s given me, and knowing my peace and joy come from him.
Today, I am much better at managing my time and home. I’m currently pregnant and homeschooling four out of my five children without worrying about house chores since everyone knows their responsibilities. We work together to get things done! I’ve had more time to work out, read books, volunteer with our military unit, host a Bible study, and experience real rest on the weekends with my family. There are still some moments I feel overwhelmed, but I now know what steps to get back on track much quicker than before.
“Two steps forward and one step back is still progress.”
ANON
THE 16 TIPS
Below are 16 things I’ve learned (and am still learning) to help me manage my home. There are organized by category: time, mental, and organization. These tips have helped me maximize my time, maintain a beautiful space, and have a welcoming home my family and friends can enjoy being in.
TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS
1. Inventory how you spend your time.
How much time do you spend on your phone, computer, or watching television? How long does it take you to clean up the kitchen? Do you spend time chatting with the other moms at the bus stop for 30 minutes everyday? Are you in the shower for 45 minutes? Are you deep cleaning multiples areas of the house each day?
These aren’t bad things to be spending our time on. However, take a good look at your daily rhythm and write these activities/tasks on a list. You’ll begin to see where your time is going, whether or not you’re using your time well, and or if you need to become a bit more efficient in some areas. It’s a hard reality check, but it’s the first step to fixing the problem.
2. Cut out or reduce the amount of time you spend on unnecessary tasks or activities that are not a priority.
With clocks not really on display for us to see (unless we’re on our phone), we don’t recognize how much time we’re spending on an activity. Once you’ve written out your daily rhythm, look at areas you may be spending too much time on or maybe wasting time on.
Put a timer on if you realize you’re spending way too much time on your phone in the mornings. Most cell phones offer apps where it tracks how much you’re spending on social media sites and will kick you off if you’ve maxed out your time.
Are you a book lover but are always behind on laundry and dinner meals? Maybe set a limit on that or only read when you’ve put one load of laundry in and finish meal prepping for dinner.
Once you begin to have a handle on essential priorities, then over time, you can start adding more time to some of these activities. You may even add new activities since you have more time at your disposal!
3. CARVE OUT specific time for activities you WANT/NEED to accomplish.
To accomplish specific tasks, they need to be on your priority list. Think about when you have a doctor’s appointment. You intentionally block out your day and plan out when you have to leave the door so that you will get there on time.
If you want to work out more, set a time of day to do it and set 30 minutes on a timer.
If you need to prepare for a trip, block out an hour to gather all those things.
You are more likely to accomplish that task if you visually see it written on a to-do list, and even more so if you assign it a time. Make it a priority, and don’t add to your list until you’ve accomplished what you’ve dedicated to doing for that day.
4. Eat one bite of the elephant at a time.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This goes perfectly with tip #4 using the 15-minute timer. If there’s an overwhelming area in your home that you must confront (like drawers or craft rooms), tackle it over time versus thinking you have to do it in one day. Set a timer every day for 15 minutes and do as much as possible in that area.
5. Use a timer and commit to 15 minutes on one area in the house that needs tending.
This was part of tip #4 but is a game-changer. It’s incredible how much you can do in 15 minutes. Put a timer on your phone, and see how much you can accomplish in 15 minutes. Focus on one area so you can see the fruit of your labor!
TIP: Purchase a large, visual timer. We use the one below during lessons, chores, and everything in between! It totally makes a difference in motivation and energy level since you have a visual of your time winding down. Works wonders on myself and my children!
Countdown Timer 7.5 inch with NO battery needed, and large magnet on back
“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t – you’re right.”
henry ford
MENTAL TIPS
6. Focus on ONE task at a time.
This information was referenced in tip # 5. There are times when multitasking is necessary for survival, especially when you take five kids to a park. You have to have eyes on multiple children at all times, ready to catch one and pick up another after a fall.
However, multitasking in general is difficult, especially when you’re trying to do something well. Attention and focus is necessary. We think we can multitask on house chores, but feel overwhelmed in the process, spend too much time on a task that shouldn’t have taken so long, or end up not accomplishing that task.
For example, have you tried clearing out the utility closet? You find something that belongs in the junk drawer only to find that the drawer, too, needs tending. So you start clearing out the drawer, forgetting you left the closet in an exploded mess. You see something that needs to go to the utility closet only to remember you were trying to clean that area up first. You end up not finishing either task because you are mentally and physically exhausted.
We only have so much time and resiliency to accomplish so many tasks. Therefore, by prioritizing one area/activity at a time, you can tend to it with full attention and feel a sense of accomplishment for finishing what you set to do.
7. Make a daily, weekly, monthly to-do list.
Running a home requires many moving parts. We’re not only managing the physical house, but we’re also nurturing relationships in the process. We only have so much mental capacity to remember or take note of things that need to get accomplished. Therefore, utilize planners, calendars, and memo pads to plan out things that need to do.
Having these written out can confirm you have everything you’d like to do planned or else notice anything that might be missing. This helps free up some of your thinking space and lets you focus on the tasks.
TIP: Although I use my phone calendar for important reminders, I use daily planner that includes the time. This helps me block out the day for important tasks, and gives me a place to plan my week well. I’ve purchased a wide range of planners, and found that Blue Sky is one of the most beautiful affordable and well designed. I purchased this blue one for the planning year January 2022-December 2022.
8. Plan and prepare the day before.
I’ve learned my lesson multiple times, thinking I’ll have time to prepare maybe a picnic lunch the morning of. But so far, every time, I usually end up not having enough time, rushing, and snapping at my children in the process because I’m feeling pressured.
It’s not always easy to do this, especially when it’s the end of the day, and you’ve already done so much. When I feel like not preparing something the night before, I try to remind myself of all the times I struggled when I didn’t qualify. Usually, that mental practice is enough of a push to make me do it. I feel pretty fantastic the next day because it’s one less thing I have to think about that morning.
It’s a great habit to cultivate because it genuinely reduces a lot of stress and frees up your morning time to manage other things. I can focus on things I may have or deal with unforeseen tantrums or a needy child that takes most of the morning (this seems to happen quite often).
9. Brain dump busy thoughts on paper (or digital notepad).
Unless you have a fantastic memory, I recommend writing your thoughts and ideas down on paper.
My mind is constantly running. I always stumble upon new books I want to read, some things come up in homeschooling I need to prepare for, new writing topics come to mind that i want to work on, i remember I need to call maintenance to fix a bathroom issue, and so on. You can see my mind is constantly flooded with ideas and tasks I need to do. It becomes worse at night when I’m laying down.
I used to write all my ideas on a notepad, but then I’d lose the tablet losing all those ideas. So now, on my phone – I use a notes app to track blog topics, future books I want to read, design projects, etc.
This has helped free up a lot of thinking space in my mind, so I’m not trying to remember all the little details that came up that day. They are appropriately stored in a categorized and organized way for me to reference.
I have one of these on my fridge, calendar, and then on my homeschool table, so I can immediately write down my thoughts.
10. Take a break from your phone or technology a few hours before bed.
A must watch 2-minute video from Science Insider on How Smart Phones Affect Your Sleep!!!!
Most people today know, have been told, or read studies showcasing how our phones can keep our minds super engaged. It becomes significantly more difficult to sleep if we’re using it right before bed. Because of its mindless and addictive qualities, no wonder it’s difficult to not want to look at our phones when we’re just sitting or waiting. But if you wish to have good rest for your mind and soul after working hard all day, you have to find the willpower to take a break from it.
Grab a book instead, spend time talking to your spouse, or grab an artbook and sketch some flowers you’ve been trying to learn how to draw.
Do something that will help wind you down and prepare you for good rest rather than something that will wind you up even more.
We know that the next day will be busy, so why not make it a habit to use the evening to get as much downtime and rest as possible?
I currently have Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth on my nightstand. Such an inspiring read that has made me think about how I overcome challenges, pursue my own passions, and how grit has come to play in it all.
ORGANIZATION TIPS
11. Minimize the amount of stuff you have (to reduce the amount you have to clean).
The more stuff you have means the more things you have to clean. So, alternatively, the fewer things you have means fewer things you have to clean! Consider purging items that you aren’t using anymore,
Place a “donate bin” somewhere you can easily toss items you’d like to give away. Once that fills up, immediately place it in your car and drop off at your location charity.
Youtube Video RECOMMENDATIONS
Here is a list of videos on organization and minimalism by The Minimal Mom. I think we have a lot of preconceived notions on minimalism. I’m far from being one (I prefer to be called an essentialist). Still, I’ve accepted many of minimalism’s principles, such as trying to keep things with purpose versus just taking up space. I really enjoy listening to her because she is very relatable and expresses her ideas in a very encouraging way.
The Minimal Mom Videos:
- 22 Things to Declutter in 2022
- 10 Best Organizing Tips for the Tidiest Home Ever!
- 15 Things Your Kitchen Doesn’t Need
- 10 Things to Declutter Today
12. Have a place for everything.
It’s more than just the amount of stuff you have – it’s also about where these things are organized. Having a place for everything reduces the number of times you move things around. It gets everyone on the same page on where things should go, so there’s no question or confusion. And ultimately, it keeps your home organized!
Tip: Labeled bins. I use quite a bit of different bins to organize my household items from toys to cleaning products. I’ve started labeling them to make it easy for everyone to know where they go. I’ve bought inexpensive bins from Ikea, Walmart, Dollar tree, etc.
Another tip: Have a small basket for keys, wallets, etc. near your front door. I’ve wasted so much time looking for these essential items because I didn’t have one set place for them.
Here are a few ideas:
13. Put things back where they belong the first time.
Similar to the previous point, putting things back away the first time helps reduce the number of times you move things around. It’s all about efficiency and maximizing your time. The less you have to do multiple times, the more time you’ll gain during the day!
Some tips for you:
Kitchen tip: While cooking, put things away once you’re finished using them.
Toy tip: Have your children immediately put toys they’re finished playing with before moving on to another activity.
14. use a “catch-all” BIN.
Place a BIN in your living, hallway, and or staircase to capture small miscellaneous items to be sorted later.
This may seem counter to the previous point, but hear me out. When you have children, unless they’re trained to pick up after themselves, you will inevitably have toys scattered throughout the house.
My toddler and three-year-old like to bring out Legos and other little things throughout the house. Rather than walking back every thirty minutes to the bedrooms and pulling out the Lego bins with a few pieces of Legos, I have a small basket where I place all the little toys I find throughout the day. During our chore time, I have my older children go and sort them. This saves me lots of time and gets everyone involved to help!
15. Work in zones.
I used to plan one day of the week to deep clean either multiples parts of the house or sometimes the entire house in one day. If I did achieve this task, it would always be near midnight or after, then I’d be completely exhausted the next day or two.
My bigger problem was that the house just never seemed clean during the week because I would wait to work on these areas. Then I learned about zones…
First, my fives kids (ages 2-9) all have DAILY ZONES where they’re in charge of an area to clean. We rotate this weekly: Kids’ bathroom, dishes in the morning, living & dining room, hallway, and watering plants. This toddler just helps where he can, but the other four kids are capable of doing these tasks independently. It’s not perfect, but each has an opportunity to learn how to an area properly.
Second, I have zones I focus on for each day, week, and month. This reduces a lot of stress knowing I’ll get to an area sometime during the week or month since it’s been scheduled. I’ve been able to manage our home much better since each area is organized at least once a week (along with following the previous tips I’ve suggested).
Below is an example cleaning schedule I used in our three-story Virginia townhome. I need to update it since we’ve moved and house layout is quite different (it is now a one-story, 1950s military base house in Japan). However, the general idea is the same. By focusing on one area a day, you’re not overworking yourself, don’t miss or forget about an area of your house, or completely neglect an area because you just don’t even think about it.
16. do a quick 15-minute walk through before bed.
Spend 15-minutes before bed to pick up, and prep the main living area and clear the kitchen for the next day. The kitchen and live area are where most families live their lives. This has been a challenging habit to implement lately because I’m more tired than usual being pregnant. However, it does make a difference when do commit to this.
When I wake up the next day with an organized space, I immediately feel ready to tackle my responsibilities. The opposite proves true everytime we leave the living room and kitchen a mess overnight. I immediately feel overwhelmed, and feel behind since I know I have planned tasks to tend.
Book Recommendations
Here is a list of books that have been highly recommended to me. Personally, I haven’t read them yet, but they are on my current book list (I’ve got a longgggg list). As you’ve read, organizing your home is just one part of homemaking. It’s a lifestyle of good habits and a purposeful mindset on how you want your home to be.
CONCLUSION
Our homes should be a place we enjoy living in. There are many different circumstances that we may not have control over, but maintaining an organized and beautiful space begins with us, our attitudes, and choices.
There will be seasons of busyness, and sometimes things will naturally fall by the wayside. However, suppose you follow some of the tips and cultivate the above habits. When those busy seasons arrive, you won’t be too overwhelmed with managing your home.
Why? Because you’ve established good habits that have become second nature, and you’ve developed a family rhythm that has kept everyone accountable and set the proper expectations for how your home is run.
To purposeful, happy, and peaceful homemaking!
