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Introduction
It’s amazing what children are capable of when you allow them to showcase it. My husband and I have always tried to live by the rule of “Don’t do anything for your kids that they can do themselves” – that includes getting a glass of water. That may seem a bit harsh for some parents (and it doesn’t mean we never do that), but the reality is kids will eventually grow up and need to be able to do these things on their own. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our children, nor does it mean we never do anything for them. We serve them in many ways, including giving them opportunities to grow and thrive. That’s what parenting is all about! And you know what – kids love it and are so proud when they can showcase personal responsibility!
Why Train Them Now
1. Good habits lead to “smooth and easy days.”
Good habits take time to develop, so why not begin at an age our children are happy and very willing to do it? For example, one-year-olds love being able to throw garbage away. Why? Because it’s a new, fun concept to them. They are still pretty new to this world, so most tasks are fun games because they haven’t necessarily associated them with grudging work.
Over time, your kids will associate specific tasks as their responsibility and no one else’s. Charlotte Mason says this:
“The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days.”
CHARLOTTE MASON
Ultimately, it’s one more minor task you have to think about because you have trained your child to be responsible for it without dealing with so much pushback (maybe a little, but not very much). In turn, parents can begin focusing on training their kids in more critical areas as the child develops and grows.
2. Responsibilities can boost a child’s self-confidence.
I’ve come across many parents who don’t give their children any responsibilities because it’s easier to do it themselves. However, we’ve already discussed that over time, life for parents will be made much easier. Parents can trust their children are capable of doing specific tasks, and can move on to train their kids in other areas of life. More importantly, these parents are planting little seeds of confidence in their child. As your child gets older, they’ll move beyond house chores and begin to take on responsibilities in other areas in life, such as academics, driving a vehicle, and working outside the home. But it all starts with you, the parent, trusting your child’s ability to accomplish the small tasks first.
For further reading on helping raise self-driven children, I highly recommend:
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
Book note: This isn’t a faith-based book, however, has great insight to the developing child with practical solutions you can implement in the home. As always, be vigilent when reading any type of literature and make sure you use Scripture to filter any information you come across.
Three-Step Teaching Tool
Before I list the responsibilities out, here is a simple and well-known three-step way to teach your child a task: 1) I’ll do it, 2) We’ll do it, and 3) You do it.
step 1: I’LL DO IT.
This first step involves you showing them how to do the task. However, take a moment to consider that some tasks have subtasks involved that require teaching. So if you’re trying to teach them how to fix the bed, you will be teaching them multiple things:
- How to fold the blanket.
- Where to put the pillow.
- How to tuck the sheet in if they have sheets.
STEP 2: WE’LL DO IT.
You will then involve them in the task by doing it with them. If you’re trying to teach your child how to fix the bed, have them help you fold the blanket. This will take some time for them to get, and expect it not to be perfect or the way you would like because they are still really young. But remember, they are capable of doing it in some form. However, the more you encourage them, the more they will positively associate making the bed. So be encouraging! Tell them how well they’re learning to fold the blanket (praises should be specific)!
STEP 3: YOU DO IT.
Finally, if you feel like your child has learned how to do a task on their own (perfect or not), then begin telling your child to fix the bed without you hovering over them. If they struggle to do it without you, then go back to STEP 2. If they accomplish the task, continue letting them do this independently without you being in the room. Warning: if the task was to make their bed, but the blanket is not folded perfectly, DO NOT go back and fix it. It’s off the bed or something, then let them pick it up and put it on the bed, or if they just rolled it up in a ball, then have them lay it out and fold it the way you taught them. Again, it’s about modeling how the task is done and what the results should look like. Perfection isn’t the goal here, but learning the job is.
5 Morning Responsibilities You Can Teach Your Toddler Today!
Here are the five-morning responsibilities you can need to teach your toddler now. All five of my children began learning how to do these tasks at around 18 months-2 years old, and by the time they are 3- 3.5, they can do these on their own! It takes a lot of time and patience, but it’s worth it. I’m almost at the point where I don’t have to remind my older four (ages 4, 5, 7, and 9) of doing their morning responsibilities! As you’re teaching your kids, remind yourself of Mason’s quote, “Smooth and easier days” are coming.
1. Fix your bed.
As discussed previously, this task will require multiple steps. However, to set your toddler up for success, remove any extra sheets and have one blanket, one pillow, and one stuffed animal on their bed at all times. The fewer steps they have to do, the better for this stage. Again, it’s about planting small seeds. Over time, they can have more stuffed animals because they’ll know how to organize them on the bed properly or where to place them in the morning. Minimal is best to get to success!
STEPS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD:
1) Spread the blanket on the bed, and tuck or fold it accordingly.
2) If folding the blanket, place at the end of the bed.
2) Fluff the pillow and place it back at the head of the bed.
3) Place favorite stuffy on top of the pillow.
2. BRUSH AND FLOSS YOUR TEETH & wash your face.
Teach your toddler how to brush their teeth properly. The task of brushing their teeth will probably still be something you do for them until about the age of 4, and then flossing even longer. But you want to begin building this habit now, so they can 1) develop the habit of brushing their teeth every morning and night and 2) associate this task as their responsibility.
I let my two-year brush his teeth first, but then I go back and brush again because he’s still mostly just trying to suck all the toothpaste off his brush rather than brush his teeth. Consider buying an electric toothbrush when they showcase the ability to brush their teeth. This will clean their teeth better and more efficiently. You will have to show them how to let the electric toothbrush sit on the tooth without having to circle it around since the brush itself will do that. Also, as they get older, use a timer as they brush each side of the mouth for at least one minute. Then viola! Hopefully, that will be fewer cavities in your future!
STEPS:
1) Rinse mouth and face.
2) Floss teeth first.
3) Find the toothbrush & rinse under the faucet.
4) Put toothpaste on the toothbrush.
5) Begin brushing teeth (brush each side for at least 1 minute)
6) Rinse mouth with water.
(Optional: rinse with kid’s mouthwash)
7) Rinse the toothbrush under water.
8) Tap the toothbrush on the side of the sink to rid of excess water.
9) Put away.
10) Grab a small washcloth (or just use hands), run under water, and wipe face.
11) Turn off faucet.
12) Throw wash cloth in laundry.
13) Dry face using clean towel.
14) Grab a paper towel, and wipe down the sink area.
15) Toss papertowel in the garbage.
16) Turn off the light.3. WASH YOUR FACE.
3. CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES.
To set your toddler up for success, lay the clothes out so they can access them right away. Unless you’ve already taught them where their clothes are, focus first on teaching them how to change their clothes. I suggest changing clothes after brushing teeth, and washig face because of the potential for clothes to get wet in this process. As your child gets older, you can have them change their clothes after they fix their bed. But for now, I highly recommend changing clothes after (unless you have them wear an apron or something while brushing their teeth).
STEPS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD:
1) Take off pajamas.
2) Place pajamas in a laundry basket. (If you want them to reuse their jammies, hang a rack they can reach and have them place it there).
3) Put top on.
4) Put underwear on.
5) Put pants on.
6) Optional: socks (if you’re heading out somewhere right away)
4. BRUSH AND STYLE YOUR HAIR.
Place a hairbrush in a designated spot, so your child knows where to find it and where to put it back. I have three daughters, so I have a small bin in their closet where they have all their brushes and hair accessories. They know exactly where to get it and where to put it back.
STEPS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD:
1) Grab a brush.
2) Brush hair.
3) Parent task: style if they desire a specific hairdo.
4) Place the brush back in the designated spot.
5. make breakfast.
Breakfast time will vary depending on the child’s dietary needs. But all toddlers are capable of assisting in this area by grabbing their plate or bowl, cup, and utensils.
I placed a kids’ basket in the bottom cupboard that contains all their utensils, plates, and bowls in our kitchen. Next to it, I have all their cups. This kid’s area can be in a drawer or food pantry, but the idea is that it’s located where they can easily access the items without your assistance. So if your food pantry requires them to open the door, but their little hands can’t do it, then don’t place it in there.
For our cereal days, I bought small cereal containers and a little milk jug (link below) my kids could easily access on their own. If we’re doing oatmeal, I’ll prep the bowl in the kitchen and have my toddler carry it out to the table. The goal here is to let them participate in preparing their breakfast as independently as possible! Eventually, they will turn seven and fry their eggs (like my 7-year-old daughter, who prefers eggs over cereal!).
Kid friendly items:
Note: My kids have really liked this. But with anything that has a lid, make sure you teach them to properly secure the entire lid (both the color and clear part). We’ve had some spills because of forgetting to press those down.
Note: Since this is glass, I try to have it on the table ready for my toddler. But overtime, they will learn how to carefully carry it from the fridge to the table. Until, then, it’s okay to have it ready on the table so they have an opportunity to pour milk by themselves.
Conclusion
Children are born with the natural desire to learn, and parents are their best teachers for the task! I hope you will nurture that desire by teaching them good habits. These good habits will lead to self-responsibility and confidence in your child, AND to smooth and easier days.
